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unbalancedmanic
Well people are off to college. Some far away, others not so far away. Sad, I didn't see Sarah or Emily. I haven't met with my counselor yet. I feel bad about that. Great news! most of my speech and debate expenses are covered so I get to keep most of my work money, which I will use to start the ball rolling for my business. I haven't decided if its Comic Publishing or Retail maybe both.

I still want to move out by my next birthday. I promised myself when I was 18 I would move out. I keep my promises. If I find two other people to room with me that be good but for now I will settle for building my business so it can support me and so when I move out it will be to a damn nice apartment in loring park that I can have all to myself.
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I'm seeing stars and I feel disoriented. I should get this checked. I'm seeing too many stars.
And no I haven't been hit over the head recently, well that I remember, I'm going to sleep now.
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Downloaded some songs from itunes and the first one was "killing me softly with his song" by the fugees. Its the best song ever. I wish to sing it as soulful one day. My voice has become really bad.

My right leg hurts so I'm not gonna write much.

November Rain by Guns n' Roses, I don't really like it. It makes tears come out of my eyeholes. I find it depressing. I downloaded it, anyway. I want to know why I find itso depressing and why eachtime I hear it I feel a little better, still makes me cry.

Overall I like the line up I choose, and they are all mine, muwah haha!

no one answered my question, you'll all pay dearly.
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I found the meeting very informational. Financing this thing will be hard without credit but I have everything I have invested in it. Learned a couple of new things about women venture as well.
My mom forgot to pick me up so I took the bus home. I found the bus driver very interesting. the moment he said hello to me I knew there was something off about him. first no one says hello at 8:30 at night. 2nd, He talked to himself.."I'm 7 anda half minutes late, again..", between announcing the bus stops. At one point he says, " I always forget the name of that hospital". A woman (smiling) two stops later told him it was Regions. She gets off, he, partly to himself and partly to anyone within hearing distance, mutters, " I thought regions was over there." Indicating St. Joseph's hospital( near excel energy center). "I must have blocked hospital names from my mind.", then he projects "Now I'm 7 minutes late". I'm smiling throughout the whole ride. A couple of guys laughed at his statement, one said "that's right", all in good humor. Everyone on the bus was smiling like I was and strangely everyone he said hi to said hi back. He was like our sinile old grandfather driving a gaint metal bus in the early night. Picking us up from our nightly duties. " No problem at all, I'm glad to have passengers or else I'd be a truck driver."
The driver, besides saying hi to everyone, called the transfers bookmarks, "Lady, come have this here bookmark" and pronounced laos as leo. At times he made comments about the places we passed, such as, "No hablo espanol" and "I thought they sold it." or "this is the hmong area". He'd read the signs of buildings out loud like he was trying to memorize them. "Ho Fan, that's a vietnamese restaurant." (I didn't know that). In the end we get to my stop and a bunch of us get off. "I'm 6 anda half minutes late" he says. The guy that was previously laughing said " Don't worry,you'll get it, see you next time." he was probably a regular for that route.

I felt very nostalgic when we passed trieu chieu. I love that vietnamese soup house. I never actually bought soup there but I've tried the other dishes they offer. I'm afraid the family that owns it will sell it off since land value has tripled, so I have an idea to all my friends who are willing to go: Lets go eat there, all of us together meals cost around 9.50 and its alot of food, twice as much as a fast food restaurant and they make it as you order, usually around 20 minutes to make. It would mean alot to me if we went, considering that everyone is leaving and going off to college and this place of awesome food might close due to the lightrail plans. Its good vietnamese food and a little different then chinese fast food. We, like the apostles, should have a last meal together. The place is cozy and usually few people stay to eat. Something about it feels homey and reminds me of my mom's cooking.
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someone on tripod took gothic prophet so now my site is named belledragones (still unpublished) but I managed to add a paypal tip jar and the new point of the website is to track my small business progress and get a little financial help on the way. I want to post my business plan. I value a dollar, it's 100th of a hundred dollar bill.( sorry for my sloppy writing, I feel dizzy and confused in the evenings. For the first time in my life I am keeping track of my symtoms which reminds me: bloody nose today:minimal, last tuesday: sudden, frequency is increasing. Get the blood vessels burned?) Fell like the ground is moving, similar to being on a boat.

quentin tarantino is no angel, defintely not. When I first saw him, it was in Desperado as a cameo. I really didn't like him, I found him loud and annoying and I was waiting for him to get shot. I was around 8 years old. Yes, a bigeyed girl in a poofy pink dress was waiting for blood and gore. Any way Q.T isolated himself from his earlier friends when he made it big. He refused to give co-writers credit to his "blood brother" for Pulp Fiction. He was alienated from is mom who he blames for his unstable childhood. Speaking of which he didn't finish school. somewhere around 6th grade he dropped out and just watched.
Maybe I'm a bit jealous.
Q.T wrote awesome screenplays with worse writing ability then I, he had other people make it flow smoothly. But it was his style, his mood, his dialog he just used other's talents where he was weak. He used other people's ideas but gave them his point of view. It makes me think maybe my writing will be more popular if I took a time worn story and retold it from a different point of view (not his, I don't understand his). My world is too different to be liked. Grindhouse makes me think of "Lola La Trilera" and "Juana". I love those two mexican films, "Juana" had a sexy leading lady who wore a showgirl outfit, seduced the evil corprate badguy into giving her his secrets, and blew up his empire with him in it. "Lola" was a gun toting woman who drove a trailer and was actually a mercenary for hire, she is hired to save a little girl from kidnappers. She killed them all and saved the little girl. I was 5 around the time I saw these so I don't remember the details well. I remember they had sequels and I thought they were awesome and cheesy. I digress.
He took credit for everything to make sure no one took credit for even an inch of what was his. He had a gaint ego and huge a.d.d-like energy to back it up. He wasn't afraid to drop out of school because to him film was more real then school. He studied fanaticly but it wasn't for school, it was for his success ten years later.
The question in my heade is, Do I take the classes My counselor advises me to take, or the classes I want to take? Should I apply to MCTC or just take the year off to plan my next 7 years and focus on my small kiosk until I learn how to turn everything I touch into gold. Doesn't Hollywood need a girl with a golden touch. Creativity and business? or are they stupid?

I'm beginning to like horror films again. I loved them so much as a little girl until I became scared of the dark. My first paid film was a horror flick after all (best editing in the class, 11 minutes long, cheesy as hell and I never want to see to again). I should do another one. The one about the girl with the red eye. Cast all my school peeps in the roles.


P.S: I want to see Day Watch! I just saw the trailer, vampire flick, cool.

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Current Mood: contemplative contemplative

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random thought: they decided to put signs on them when I told them not to... We had different goals so I left. The youth cafe is on hiatus...still. I'm sick of people having dreams then dumping them so easily. I don't dump mine. I collect them, so I'll write a youth cafe business plan and hand it to the block leader. It will have my wishful thinking in it and drawings and plans for programs like poetry slam and concerts. Its up to the younger teens to figure out how to make y.c real. I have visions, thats my strong suit. Once I've done that they could get loans. The realizing and runing is up to them. I'll have other things to do like run my own business and create films.
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I only had it for a year and over a thousand views. It became boring so I deleted it. teehee! It'll be gone in two days. No one posts anything and I have my own websites and accounts now. I think I'll make pinatas for profit. Just a couple to sell. and I'm creating gothic prophet a dear abby type thing except i get to be blunt.
oh and I'm installing cool gadgets to my laptop. I feel very tech-savvy.
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I'm almost done and I think I messed up on the nose.Normally I wouldn't do this but once I get an idea in my head I can't do anything else until I finish it. Its a very good exercise in shape and using positive and negative space. I blame Frank Miller for the idea, but he is awesome so I forgive him.
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